There is this dad at daycare…and the situation is just WEIRD.
His toddler son joined Sam’s class about 2 months ago and since the transition from the baby room to the toddler room, he has been bringing his son into the room in the morning and just hanging out, playing with his son, chatting with the care givers, etc. Sam used to be the first kid and those mornings were tough, so please believe me when I say that I’m relieved that there is another early bird baby to play with and distract. And at first, I didn’t have a problem with the dad. Until I realized he was hanging out (sometimes for probably a half hour or more) every single morning. It struck me as odd. Most parents (myself included) like drop off to be as quick and painless as possible.
Fast forward to 2 months later and this dad is still the first one there with his kid. While I’m in and out, he shows no signs of leaving as I’m leaning over to kiss Sam and rushing back out the door. What still strikes me as odd, and what I don’t necessarily feel comfortable with is that he is there playing with my kid. I find his personality bizarre and it makes me feel totally uncomfortable. Also, I don’t want Sam thinking that his friend’s daddy can stay and play, so why can’t mommy? It is a totally weird dynamic.
Kevin talked to one of the caregivers, who said that he basically shows up sometimes a full 40 minutes before we do and basically waits with his son until another parent and their child arrive. In this case, it just happens to be me and Sam. We talked to the Director and she said that she understands, and also knows that making a quicker exit would be healthier for everyone involved. She spoke to the father in question last night, explaining that a quicker exit might be better and he agreed.
This morning, I arrived and the car was in the parking lot. However, when I went in there was no other child and no child’s daddy. Hrm. I dropped Sam off, as usual, and headed out to my car. Once again, I looked at the car I know to be their car, shrugged it off and got in my own car, started the engine, etc. That’s when I noticed the backseat open on the car in question. Out pops this dad and he commences getting his son out of his car seat, etc. Uhmmmmm?????
Am I overreacting? Is this weird and suspicious? What can I do?
(I know, I’ve been silent. But I forgot, then I had horrible stomach flu, and then my darling dad proposed to a woman he dated 20 years ago but has been talking to online and she was making plans to stay with him for 5 days over Thanksgiving. She’s decided against it, thank goodness.)
'Bama on the Brain 
As a fellow Mother, and learning to trust the gut feeling because when I dont things go wrong, I would come back and surprise visit the daycare just to make sure all is alright with Sam. It does feel weird and trust your gut feeling dear. I am all for trusting that feeling. When my daughter was small I had this suspicious feeling about her friends Dad and it shows many years later that he was a pedofile…..Not to alarm you because I dont know the details, but a Mothers instinct is usually never wrong. Love Helene
Thanks for weighing in, Helene, and for reading. It is a bit red flaggy to me. I don’t doubt the daycare workers are doing the right stuff. I just get freaked by the creepy lingering Dad. If he continues to hide in his car the next few mornings, I will have to talk to the director again about a plan of action.
I think his behavior is weird, but I’m not sure what his angle is yet. It doesn’t seem normal, whatever it is. I can see (though it isn’t smart) before when he thought it might be better to stay if his son was the only one there, but once Sam got there it would make sense for him to leave then if that was his concern. It doesn’t seem like that’s what it is. But the fact that he waited in his car today and then got out after you left and dropped Sam off. That’s not normal. I’m wondering if he knew you complained and didn’t want to talk to you so he just waited until after you left? Maybe he didn’t stay…? I think that’s the key question to find out the answer to in order to see if it’s a real issue.