The Sinkhole

There’s some heavy shit going on in the world y’all. It isn’t necessarily new, but it feels like it’s all coming to a head at once. It’s like a giant sink hole, brewing underneath the surface that one day just opens up and swallows a city block.

It’s hard to find peace in the world when children are dying at the hands of those that should be protecting them and unarmed black men are being shot or choked to death and the men responsible are somehow not held accountable. Not to mention the exhausting list of ALL THE OTHER THINGS TO BE MAD ABOUT. A friend posted on twitter about wanting to set things on fire. I offered to bring the matches.

To add to the unrest, my brother-in-law’s father has cancer, and it’s spreading. He’s been on meds for a bit, but actually fell into a weird coma-like and demented stated about a month or so ago. We thought we’d lose him then, but he almost literally “woke up” and was quoting poets and philosophers. He’s made a near total recovery, so to hear the cancer is worse is a raw effing deal.

Also, my own father is having his toe amputated, which might be good except if he doesn’t heal the doctors want to go ahead and take his leg below the knee. I have no idea if or how he would survive such an ordeal. He continues to disconnect from reality, acting more and more like a petulant child. Still, there are glimmers and shimmers of the man he used to be. Engaging with him is a lot like seeing a familiar face in a crowd. Just as soon as you recognize it, it’s gone.

I can’t believe the holidays and the end of this weird year are upon us. I am having a really difficult time getting into the holiday spirit. Bad news for a little boy I know who is incredibly excited about Christmas (even though we aren’t religious). Just add it to the list of stuff to feel crappy about, I suppose.

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