As I lay in bed last night, listening to the sounds of my infant son slurping, sucking, and smacking on a bottle of my milk in the other room it got me thinking. First off, THANK THE SWEET BABY JESUS THAT HE WASN’T DOING TO MY NIPPLES WHAT HE WAS DOING TO THAT BOTTLE!! We are still working on this whole breastfeeding thing, see. Some sessions are better than others. Some tend to be 80% pain free when we are both alert and paying attention. Often, the night feedings are the sloppy, slurpy, painful ones. The kid can’t seem to get a good latch, loses all of his manners, and I’m too zonked out, tired, and frustrated to be able to help him. So he sucks away, while I’m grimacing and toe curling. Certainly not the best of experiences but, once I’m committed, I go with it. I refer to this as a “Night Job”–a situation that you know could be better if you put a little thought and effort into it, if only you had the energy and the where-with-all to make it happen.
This whole situation got me thinking about other times in life when I have fallen prey to the lazy allure of the Night Job. Sure, there are times when settling has very slight implications in my life–like choosing the smaller (or larger) serving of ice cream at the scoop shop, or buying the book I could easily get at the library because it’s right in front of me but finding it at the Library would require extra work. But are there other times when the stakes are higher? When is the Night Job become a detriment?
I can think of a few situations where I might have Night Jobbed. A long distance relationship in college that went on for far too long & the job I took out of college as an inside sales rep for disposable medical supplies when I had no interest in either are two examples. Hell, there are times when I think I might have Night Jobbed my way through college. If only I’d had the guts to change my major…
All of this looking back can be a slippery slope. Make no bones, I do not regret one decision I’ve made, because it has led me to this moment. Let’s face it: I have everything I’ve ever wanted (besides a claw foot tub and a larger bathroom). Luck is not lost on me. I guess I just want to make sure I’m not Night Jobbing anything important as I move forward as a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend, an aunt, and a working woman. That is a luxury I just cannot afford.