I envy those people who are able to shrug off a tough day, laugh off a tense moment. You know the ones, the people who seem so carefree and stress-free. I have never been one of those people. Sure, outwardly I could fool anyone. To some, I have rainbows in my back pocket, I brush my teeth with sunshine every morning, and I lead an army of the cutest darn pink kittens you ever did see. But the on the inside, folks? Whole different story.
Don’t get me wrong here. I’m not on the brink of a breakdown and I would never even dream of doing anything more destructive to myself than having one drink too many for a night. I enjoy sharing my pocket full of rainbows with my friends, my family, strangers at the grocery store. All you have to do is ask and I’ll summon a pile of pink fuzzy kittens so large you won’t be able to escape the cute.
However, for all my annoying positivity comes something even more annoying. In fact, calling it annoying may be a huge understatement. I’m talking about my own inability to shrug it off and get on with my life when the universe and I get into another one of our usual tiffs. I can’t sleep. I don’t eat well. I panic at work. I come home, park myself on the couch and kill time until bed. I am notorious for bringing the stresses of my work life home with me, and the stresses of my home life to work with me. I just can’t seem to let it go.
What’s worse than having your own emotional baggage? It’s not enough to internalize my own stress, but then I go and internalize other people’s stress. I’m like a static-cling magnet of stress and I’m starting to realize that if I want my life to move forward, stress has no place in my life.
So, I made my first act of kindness to myself. On Friday afternoon, amidst the meetings and appointments, phone calls and emails, I made not one, but two trips down to my car with a small cart and a bungee. I physically removed all of the flotsam and jetsam of my job from my trunk and backseat. I was wearing heels and it was cold, but I did it. I immediately started to feel better. Next on the list, making more healthy meals, getting back on the elliptical (or taking walks outside), more snuggling with my husband. More bubble baths. More writing for pleasure (including blogging). More painting, more sunshine, more rainbows and pink kittens.
‘Cuz let’s be honest. Who doesn’t love a pink kitten?