Tropical Depression

There’s a tropical depression bearing down on my home town today.  All day, friends have been preparing for the inconvenience.  Renting movies, grocery shopping, bringing in the outdoor furniture, and praying that the storm doesn’t bring too much rain or boredom. 

After our hashing session yesterday, it seems pretty clear to me that Kevin and I are going through a tropical depression of our own.  We both agree that things are sub par right now, but that things will be getting better soon as long as we commit to making some changes.  We know that we owe to ourselves as individuals and we owe it to our marriage as, well, married people to make this work.  About halfway into the conversation, I just started to cry.  Not because it was a bad conversation, because it wasn’t.  Not because Kevin was saying hurtful things, because he wasn’t.  It was more that I started crying because a) I had more pent up emotion than I thought I did, and b) I was thankful that I married the kind of guy that I did.  I couldn’t ask for anyone better, nor would I. 

So anyways, one of the things we committed to was something our the Two Loons suggested:  Fire and Wine night.  Basically, it’s setting aside one night per week where the TV goes off, the kids go to bed (if you have them), the wine is poured (wine can be replaced by beer, cocktails, hot chocolate, etc.), and you just spend time together.  Our biggest problem is that, in the face of all we’ve gone through these past few months this year a majority of our marriage, the time we spend actually talking to one another has grown smaller and smaller.  It’s not that we don’t enjoy each other’s company because we really do.  And it’s not because we fight alot because we really don’t.  I think it’s the same as it is for a lot of couples.  Life gets busy, work gets busy, and before you know it you’re not talking to one another about more than what to make for dinner and when’s that birthday party anyways, and did you scoop the cat boxes or is it my turn. 

I tell you this not because it’s sad, or even scary.  It’s not even a cautionary tale.  I tell you this because it’s part of life. This is our Tropical Depression.  It’s not fun, sure.  But our marriage isn’t going to end any more than a house will blow down in Mobile as a result of Ida.   Right now, we’re hunkering down.  The wine is poured, the fire is lit, and we’re just waiting out this storm with each other.

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3 thoughts on “Tropical Depression

  1. Great post, first of all.

    Secondly, I've discovered in my short two year stint at marriage that it takes a lot more work than people could ever tell you beforehand. I think the idea of a fire and wine night is a great idea. Hopefully it'll be the time to connect that you need it to be.

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