Perfect Strangers

I wish you could look outside my office window. Well, ok. There’s a parking garage. Not exciting. But what IS exciting is what is shining down on the parking garage and into little cave of an office. SUNSHINE. It’s still only 40 degrees out but I’ll take it where I can get it.

Obviously, I’m trying to look on the bright side of things. That doesn’t mean that I’m not overwhelmed, or stress eating, or what have you. I’m just really trying NOT to freak out as much. Those of you who know me know how hard that can be.
Spring is full of possibility and renewal–but it’s also pretty overwhelming what with 2 student competitions, special volunteer initiatives, and the regular goings-on at work. Added to that is Kevin’s surgery, which is next Wednesday. Plus, all the other “fun” things about being an adult/woman/responsible employee/kind and caring family member/friend/cat mommy/home owner/wife/confidant/neighbor/daughter/co-habitant of this place called earth/etc. Didn’t I tell you this would be hard for me? The point is that I’m trying.

I signed up to take a kick-boxing class because people suggested that excercise is a way to start feeling better. The class doesn’t start for another few weeks, but I’m excited and nervous all at the same time. You don’t have to know me well to know that I’m. not. athletic. I just hope I don’t injure myself majorly. Still, the possibility of ending years of a sedentary existence are exciting. And if I could actually shed some pounds before summer, that would rock.

I’m also trying to cook more meals. It’s obvious that if I don’t cook, I don’t have control over what goes into my body. Now, I’m not a freak about this (I had McDonald’s for lunch, for cryin out loud!) but I think there’s a ritual in cooking that I appreciate and I feel healthier eating things that I have prepared than if we ate pizza four times in two weeks. Y’know?

One thing that I’ve learned about myself is that I’m equal parts doom and gloom and utter optimism. (Or, I’m dead inside with woodland creature companions a la Snow White with a big old rainbow behind me as one friend likes to point out. This duality is part of who I am (I am a gemini, after all) and it urks the hell out of me some times. For every bad thought there’s a good one that comes (sometimes later, but atleast it comes). The yin and the yang of my life is that there is always more I can do or less I can do to make myself happy. Just like there’s always good things and not so good things to deal with. It’s the internal Felix and Oscar, Balki and Larry, Jekyll and Hyde that keep me going (and drive me insane). Maybe what I need to come to terms with isn’t that my life lacks balance…but that it actually is balanced.

Or maybe I need to stop drinking McDonalds Iced Coffees. Those things are like crack!


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