I’m a regular renaissance woman

…well, maybe not that kind of renaissance woman. But I am currently in the process of making a big ole pot of ham and bean soup. But that’s not all! I also made a batch of my homemade granola AND have a ball of fresh pasta dough resting before I cut it into fettucine noodles to go with the chicken and homemade alfredo sauce I plan to make for dinner tonight. But that’s still not all! I also fixed the broken drawer in our kitchen. I probably would have made homemade bread today too…but I blame old people.

You see, old people and coupon cutters decended upon our grocery store in droves today. I don’t know, maybe they do it every Saturday and I just don’t know it because Sundays are my usual grocery days. But I digress. See, I have this theory about “grocery nemesi”. Every time I go to the grocery store, there is always one person that is continually in your way no matter what section of the grocery store you are in. Where ever you go to get rid of them, they are there too! It’s a horrible, yet very amusing game. This morning, my grocery nemesis was an older woman who was examining every bargain she could get her hands on. She even got into a conversation in front of the tuna with another golden oldie about how they had an 8 for $10 special on canned tuna, but were completely out of stock.
So I had my list, I had a cart full of items. I was headed to check out.

Lines were busy, but the wait wasn’t that bad. As I was waiting in line, not one, but TWO separate golden oldie couples came up behind me, peered into my cart with a scrutinizing eye, glared at the guy in front of me who had filled the conveyor belt with bagged salad, bottled water, and a smattering of other items, and scuttled off to a line that they deemed might be shorter. As if it was MY fault that the lines were long. So I unloaded me items as quickly as I could and noticed that one couple had stepped up behind me. I did my duty and placed the bar on the conveyor so they could begin to load their groceries as well.

Here’s where things get interesting…there are never enough baggers at this grocery store and frankly, it ticks me off. So I started bagging my groceries as quickly as I could, but I couldn’t keep up with the 15 year old ball of cheer that was ringing me up. Note the sarcasm. When it was time for me to swipe my card, I moved back up towards the register but the golden oldies had their (now empty) cart right in front of the card swiping machine. And when I needed to swipe my card, push the green button, and sign my name, she didn’t budge. Wouldn’t move a friggin’ inch to make it easier for me to complete my transaction! And she basically stared at me like I had no business buying groceries or being in her way.

So how is Bea Arthur’s fault? I was so flustered that I left without the whole milk that I paid for, bagged myself, and then left when I had the “swiping incident”. And I was too mad to go back for it when I got home and realized it was gone. Hence, no bread. Maybe I’ll make it tomorrow. Dern old lady.

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