Ok, so spam has been wreaking havoc on my life lately. The other day I opened my email at work only to find that of the 25 emails waiting in my inbox, only 3 of them were legitimate. That’s right folks, it seems that I am not only called on to help foreign diplomats for large sums of cash, but I am apparently in need of mass quantities of erectile disfunction drugs, rolex watches, and I had better look out because every bank in Ohio needs me to update my information to protect my account from fraud. Last time I checked, I didn’t have any relationship with foreign diplomats that would compell me to help them in any way, I don’t have a penis, I can tell time just fine, and I only have ONE bank account at ONE bank and oddly enough, I haven’t gotten any emails from them.
As if that wasn’t enough, I was checking my blog and saw I had a comment. Did you know there is now such a thing as “comment spam”? And more importantly, did you know that all you need to do to access porn is to IM a certain screen name and they will just send it to you? Personally, if I’m going to invest in porn (which I never will) I want to know damn well what I’m getting myself into. I mean, what if it’s not even good porn? I guess you’re not out any actual money since it’s free. But still… What self respecting male (let’s face it ladies, in 99.9% of the cases, porn’s not for you) would actually solicit porn from an IM name? I’d like to think men are a little bit more selective about their recreational study of the female anatomy. Yes, I’m kidding myself.
Sorry, I’m feeling sassy and completely lost my train of thought. Oh right, my point is this. I do not like green eggs (eggs and spinach, maybe…like a quiche florentine! YUM!) and spam (canned, email, comment, or otherwise). I do not like them….damn. My names not even close to rhyming! Oh, just forget it.